Oregon Public Broadcasting

We’re in the thick of the political campaign season. So television ad breaks now resemble something like a schoolyard squabble. The candidates fling charges and countercharges, outside interest groups throw in their own zingers.

Decorum goes right out the window. Which is where OPB commentator Bob Balmer wants to step in.

He offers a sweet alternative to the angry rhetoric.

Recently I started my own political party.  It’s called the Sugar Party.  My goal is to make it the nicest party in the world -- a bit of happy democracy in acrimonious times. 

The party’s bylaws are so pleasant that cynics have dubbed us the Pollyanna Party, which instead of taking as an insult, we think:  “Well at least they recognize our attempt to sweeten political discourse.” 

Did you know that no finger-pointing is one the Sugar Party’s tenets?  It’s actually tenet number two.  We have five tenets total, all of them sweet.

Critics may claim the Sugar Party could increase the acrimony as people often resist change, but we don’t believe this is the case, and we do so vehemently as we, if pushed, are politely strident in our pursuit of political civility. 

Case in point:  Fake it to make it is a saying that is woven into the fabric of people trying to do their best to get through a day.  We plan to practice this mantra by asking Chris Dudley and John Kitzhaber to join us for tea.  

We want Chris and John to talk amiably, maybe even inquire about each others’ families or exchange holiday greetings.  If they speak civilly, perhaps others will follow suit.

To further our movement we’ve solicited prominent people and organizations to attach their names to our movement.  Some have.

People have asked:  "Will you recruit a slate of candidates?" and we say of course we will, but we’re not interested in winning so much as we’re interested in ushering in politer, less partisan candidates who will honestly say during debates.  “Good point.”  “I prefer to disagree with you.”  “You’re looking spiffy today.”

The prototype would have been Mr. Rogers or Amy Vanderbilt, bless their souls.  Instead we are considering the advice columnist Amy Dickinson, Elmo from Sesame Street, and Garrison Keillor. 

We love his notion of Lake Wobegon and its above-average children, and we think Keillor’s red shoes are above average in the spiffy department.

That said, we are looking for candidates and volunteers, and if you’re interested in adding some sugar into the bitter brew of American Politics, we will have an 800 number soon. 

(In advance:  Thank you for donating to help pay for this number.  It’s sweet of you.)  Until then, have a nice day, and remember, “If you don’t have something nice to say about someone, don’t say it; otherwise, you can please go to heck.”