Oregon Public Broadcasting

Ben Perrins and Cindi Shipley and their three kids have come a long way in the last seven months. When OPB met the couple last spring, they’d been without a stable place to live for a year, and were bouncing among shelters and friends’ houses.

They still rely on government assistance, rather than  jobs, for income, but Cindi says the recession has been good for them.

Cindi Shipley: “My view – the recession is God’s way to push you and make you stretch yourself. And I felt like I couldn’t handle it, I would cry and get depressed, losing our apartment, but I’m kind of glad we did.”

Rob Manning reviews what the family went through in the last year – and why Cindi Shipley is happier now, than she was before the recession.

I don’t know what your Memorial Day was like this year, but Ben and Cindi’s went like this: They woke up in the spare room at a friend’s house southwest of Portland. They roused their three kids and took them on public transit across the region to North Portland. It was a routine trip for them.

Their youngest child stayed with Ben and Cindi while they couch-surfed, but their two school-aged kids spent weeknights at Grandma’s house, so they could stay at the same North Portland school. It pained Cindi.

Cindi Shipley:  “I only see them on the weekends, and their grandma sees them all through the week. She’s the parent to them, and that’s not the way it’s supposed to be.”

As she sat on the steps at Pioneer Courthouse Square, Cindi’s oldest, nine-year-old Kya was on her mind. Kya wanted to go to summer camp, but Cindi couldn’t afford it.

Cindi Shipley: “So she took it upon herself – she’s nine – took it upon herself to go to her neighbors, that she knows, of course to ask them ‘can I do any yard work for you, or whatever?’. So in three days, she’s raised seven dollars.”

Ben and Cindi weren’t always been homeless. Two years ago, Ben was working for a tow-truck company. But he says his name was at the top of the list, when the company went looking for layoffs.

Ben Perrins: “My head was on the block. They did it. I don’t feel bad for them. I’d love to go back to work for them.”

Both say they had a history with methamphetamine, especially Ben. They say they kicked the habit by summer, but it had helped consume their cash. Add in a rent increase and the family was homeless. But the summer was brighter.

Ben and Cindi got into a family shelter in Gresham called My Father’s House.

Cindi Shipley: “This is a lot better. Now, the family is all together instead of two of the kids staying at my Mom’s house, and then Ben and I staying with our friend. Now the whole family is together.”

Little things seemed to be coming together for them, too. Nine year-old Kya got to go to camp, thanks to a donation they got, and the money she earned.

Kya: “I counted, I just can’t remember exactly…”

Kya’s mom, Cindi, comes and whispers in her ear.

Kya: “Twenty seven dollars.”

But the couple had bigger worries. The shelter had a time limit, making Cindi and Ben worry that the family might have to separate again. The thought caused Cindi to tear up. Ben tried to consol her.

Ben Perrins: “Maybe one more split-up. Hey, we put ourselves together this time, we’ll do it again. Stop… I love you. It’ll work.”

The time at the shelter wasn’t easy. The boys got the flu, and Cindi had surgery for a benign cyst.

But the illnesses and worries drew them together. And on one special weekend in November, they got to move into their own place. And, they were getting married. Cindi beamed in the wedding gown she borrowed.

Cindi Shipley: “It is an incredible weekend. Most people, they deal with getting a house or getting married. I’m doing both in two days.”

After the ceremony, Ben celebrated, but also thought about the pressure of being the family’s provider, as he was before drugs and the economy dragged him down.

Ben Perrins: “It’s back to the grind again, you know, where I take them to school, and I look for work. She stays home and putting the house together. Every day things we were doing before, when I started acting stupid. And now, I’m getting a new chance.” 

Now, both Ben and Cindi are looking for work, though Cindi spends a lot of time at home, watching four year-old, Kristopher.

Cindi Shipley: “We can’t go outside, it’s raining outside.”

Kristopher: “Yup, it’s really raining.”

The shelter allowed the whole family to be together. Cindi says the apartment allows the kids – Kya, especially - to have a little time alone.

Cindi Shipley: “She’s a lot less stressed. She doesn’t say much about it – but you can tell that she’s less aggravated. She doesn’t get as aggravated with her brothers, and she plays with her brothers more. I think that’s because we’re in a stable situation, and she has a room to get away, if she needs to get away.”

And, Cindi says without having to focus all of their energy on keeping their own lives together, they’re able to give back a little. On one freezing night a few weeks ago, Cindi got a call from her mom.

Cindi Shipley: “She called up Ben, late at night, and she’s crying and saying ‘I need your help, the house is flooding, I don’t know what to do…"

Cindi Shipley: “Well Ben comes out there…”

As Cindi explains how Ben fixed the plumbing, another person they’ve helped comes in the door. Cindi’s kids call him, “Uncle Mike,” and he’s been homeless himself. In exchange for the occasional night on the couch, he runs errands for them, or like today, takes Kristopher out for a while.

Cindi Shipley: “Go with Uncle Mike for a little bit.”

Kristopher: “Bye, Mama.”

Cindi Shipley: “Bye, son. Can I have a kiss please? Get your coat – because it’s raining.”

Cindi says she and Ben really appreciate all the help they’ve gotten. And she says she’s glad to have a home she can open to a friend in need, the way friends did for her family, when she needed it, last spring.