Oregon Public Broadcasting

The November election brought resolution to many issues in Oregon and around the country.

But the anti-gay marriage ballot measure passed in California is one issue that seems to have raised more questions than it answered.

Protests have raged, a court has agreed to hear an appeal and commentator Courtenay Hameister has been glued to her computer screen.

As I sat in my sexy Spongebob jammies and crunched my CoCoa Puffs reading angry protest blogs, I knew I was with them in spirit. And yet I couldn't help but think, 'Where are the Initiative 1 protesters? I want to be with them in spirit, too.'

Initiative 1 was an act that passed by a 57% majority in Arkansas that now prohibits unmarried, cohabitating couples from being foster parents or adopting children.

The act was targeted at gay and lesbian couples, but, in an apparent attempt not to seem homophobic, the conservative Arkansas Family Council included all unmarried couples.

I think they were following in the footsteps of the great Thomas Jefferson who once said, 'Hey, if you're going to take people's rights away, you might as well go for broke.'

When I first heard that it passed, I was incensed. How dare they tell me what I can and cannot do based on what they perceive is a 'lifestyle choice' I've made.

Just so you know, Arkansas, being unmarried isn't a 'lifestyle choice' for me. It's just that no one's ever asked.

And yes, I'm difficult to live with and neurotic and, possibly unappealing, but if you propose to start legislating against the unappealing, you're going to have a long fight on your hands, starting with my third grade gym teacher and ending with the entire cast of America's Next Top Model.

And some heterosexual couples aren't married because one person in the relationship fears commitment (I'm looking at you, Phil). But your law blankets both people in the ugly pall of parental un-fitness. Where's the fairness in that?

As a person who has loved more than her fair share of commitment-phobic people, I feel it's my duty to stand up for my brethren and say that this is some seriously flawed legislation. But I'm not the only one.

The Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute agrees with me, stating that if legislation like this continues to pass, it could increase foster care costs by $130 million a year. And it will undoubtedly reduce the number of loving families available to the 129,000 foster children in the U.S.

Here's the truth: I'll probably never want to adopt children, and I'll never EVER want to move to Arkansas, but that's beside the point.

Remember the beautiful Martin Niemoller poem that begins 'They came first for the communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a communist.' Well, straight people? They've come for us.

So it's time to stand as one -- the neurotic, the unappealing, the commitment-phobic, the unable-to-afford-a-$40,000 wedding and the 'just settling until something better comes along' ... it's time to join our gay brothers and sisters and say, we deserve the right to lose sleep and buy minivans, to believe 'because I said so' is a valid argument for anything, and to wear mommy jeans.

But most of all, to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on orthodonture and college only to never, ever get a phone call on our birthdays.

So, let's make our signs and grab our bullhorns and tell Arkansas what they can do with their heterophobic new legislation. We're here. We're unappealing and/or commitment-phobic. And you're just gonna have to get used to it.

The comments of Portland writer and LiveWire host, Courtenay Hameister.